Punishment in Kindergarten

Today the world is a little more my own.
No need to remember the pain
A blue-frocked woman caused, throwing
Words at me like pots and pans, to drain
That honey-coloured day of peace.
‘Why don’t you join the others, what
A peculiar child you are!’

On the lawn, in clusters, sat my
Schoolmates sipping
Sugarcane, they turned and laughed;
Children are funny things, they laugh
In mirth at others’ tears, I buried
My face in the sun-warmed hedge
And smelt the flowers and the pain.

The words are muffled now, the laughing
Faces only a blur. The years have
Sped along, stopping briefly
At beloved halts and moving
Sadly on. My mind has found
An adult peace. No need to remember
That picnic day when I lay hidden
By a hedge, watching the steel-white sun
Standing lonely in the sky.

              – Kamala Das

• Composed by Kamala Das (1934-2009), an Indian female author
• No regular meter or rhyme
• A little autobiographical poem
• Remembrance of a childhood school-day experience – of shame, humiliation, and pain
• The teacher remembered as ‘a blue-frocked woman’
• Punishment not physical but verbal/mental – “Why don’t you join the others, what a peculiar child you are!”
• A sense of freedom in adulthood – no one to dictate one’s life
• Contrast between childhood and adulthood: as a child our lives are controlled by others, as an adult we ourselves take control of our lives

Interpretation of the Poem

This poem is an autobiographical poem composed by Kamala Das, an Indian female author. The poet contrasts her teacher-controlled bitter school-day experience with her free and peaceful adult life.

One time during schooldays, the school children were taken to a picnic where everyone else except the poet enjoyed and had fun with each other – the poet sat alone, maybe because she was an introvert child who couldn’t get along with friends. For this, she got scolded by her teacher. “Why don’t you join the others, what a peculiar child you are!” At this scolding, all the schoolmates laughed mockingly, which made the poet more ashamed, and she hid herself behind the hedge and endured her pain. Here, we see the poet got the mental punishment rather than the physical one.

Now that the poet has become adult, she no longer faces such shame, humiliation, and pain. “My mind has found an adult peace.” Nowadays too she may choose to stay alone, away from her friends, but now no one is there to punish her for that, no one is there to mock and laugh at her. She has now her own world – her own life, her own choice, and her personal freedom. No one is there to dictate her life.

However, when she says “. . . a little more my own,” she might be saying that the world hasn’t been completely her own. The reason might be there is still her family, in particular, her husband who makes demands on her life, but nonetheless, they aren’t cruel upon her. And in comparison to what she experienced in her schooldays, she has become obviously much freer now.

GLOSSARY

peculiar (adj): odd, strange
drain (v): to empty
mirth (n): laughter, merriment
hedge (n): a row of bushes
muffled (adj): not heard clearly
blur (adj): a shape that you cannot see clearly